Saturday, August 29, 2009
I must "refresh" myself..
after what my friends had said to me..
I've realised that i shouldn't do that..
I feel so regretful..
a friend of mine had said to me..
He said that what i did is so stupid and i might kill myself eventhough i didnt have any intention on commiting suicide and i can go straight to hell if i die due to the pills..
i'm so scared of hell..
I'm so sorry i've troubled all my besties..
Make them cry, worried sick, sleepless, late for exams, etc..
i"m so sorry..forgive me pls..
i know i cant get away from hell after all i've did..
but i know i can renew myself and "ringankan beban di neraka"..
I hope Allah forgive me..
I promise to all my love ones and Allah that i will never do ridiculous stuffs again..
i'll try my best to control myself..
i swear when i did those stupid things, i cant control myself..
now i'm trying to love myself..taking slow and one at a time pace to accept myself..
Recently i listen to this syarahan made by ustaz..
he told me..
there's 4 golongan:
1. bahagia di dunia, bahagia di akhirat
2. bahagia di dunia, celaka di akhirat
3. celaka di dunia, bahagia di akhirat
4. celaka di dunia, celaka di akhirat
i know i will be in fourth golongan- celaka di dunia and di akhirat..
i did alot of sinful things..i didnt even accept what Allah gives to me..
i gave up easily...
but thats the past..eventhough its like two days ago..
i will focus on today and the present, my future..
i know there's no point on thinking about past..i cant change it..what past leave it as past..
i've learnt from my mistakes..
trying to forget what i did in the past and move on..
i swear i will try to move on even it takes the slowest pace..
i will feel "syukur" of what Allah gives to me..
i just get to believe, every fate, theres hikmah..
slowly i will try to change the way i am..
today, i will be a diferent person..a better person..insyaAllah..
and i will be happy for everything..even problems..even i fail my exams..i will be happy cos thats when i know i need to work harder..
I believe Allah is forgivable..
and i will ask for His forgiveness..
but i will never take advantages of His forgiveness..
i will never never do it again..bertaubat..
never..
amin..
i blogged @
8/29/2009 12:15:00 PM
Nur Fahana ♥
i did alot of sinful things..
